 With a Police Lieutenant Colonel
So,
six months after handing in my application to join the Thai Tourist
Police Volunteers, I finally received my invitation to a training
seminar.
What should I expect? Well the initial application
stage was fairly impressive. The staff checked my background with the
embassy and the Immigration department. I know this because my
interviewer said: "Oh you work at [name of my employer] my uncle is a
director there". That seemed to go down well. Heck, I wasn't even
recruited yet and already the nepotism was kicking in!
So with a
5am alarm call, I set off to Sukhumvit soi 5, wondering what I would
learn from the boys in brown. The hotel venue itself was very decent,
if nothing special. I was ushered into a large conference hall and
presented with an information pack. Amongst leaflets and tourists
guides there was a booklet that explained how to make a police report.
The information itself was solid, but the translation was poor. I
wondered how the Tourist Police could produce something like this, but
I was about to discover things would get worse before they got better.
The
event kicked off with a senior sergeant welcoming everybody and
declaring the training session open. Suddenly some music began to blast
and we all had to stand up and salute. The expression of the commander
in front of me stopped me from smiling.
We then began a lecture
on the role of tourism in Thailand. There was just one problem - it was
all in Thai. There were about one hundred volunteers at the seminar.
Less than ten of us were farang, the others were Burmese, Japanese or
Chinese. Very few could understand what was being said.
Suddenly,
a strikingly attractive young woman stood up and said something to a
commander at the front. She then walked to the stage and was introduced
as both "Miss Chicago" and "Miss Songkran", who would translate for us.
And so she did, though I think some of the volunteers were a little
distracted from the topic at hand.
After a coffee break, the
next lecture was on "national security" and was presented by a lady
called Porpharas. Khun Pornpharas was obviously a highly educated lady
from an upper class family. Her speech was intelligent and articulate
but the topics she addressed covered issues such as economics and the
politics of immigration. For me it was interesting, but the body
language of those around me told me they knew this was not exactly
relevant for police volunteers.
After lunch we had a new
officer and a new topic. We were treated to a slideshow of foreign
criminals believed to be located in Thailand. It was interesting stuff
and I was ready to blast Bob Marley's "Bad Boys" track on my iPod and
hunt these guys down, but sadly our beauty queen had gone home and the
talk was only in Thai. It was becoming clear now, the senior command in
the Thai Tourist Police may be great people and great policemen, but
they couldn't speak English.
Still, the overall feel of day one
was good. This was largely down to a man call Senior Segeant Major
Peter, who was almost a one man police force by himself. Throughout the
day he had exchanged jokes, wise cracks, banter and pranks with both
his fellow Thais and the volunteers. He had broken down the culture
barrier and explained why Thailand needed foreign volunteers and how
grateful the police were.
 With "Peter"
Day
two began on an interesting note as I was attacked while eating a
sandwich at 'Subway' on Sukhumvit by a drunken prostitute who was upset
that I wouldn't hand her my sandwich. Sadly, I had not yet received any
training that would actually help me deal with the situation. Would
today be different?
Luckily, the answer was yes. Our first
lecture was in English and "Peter" explained to us the different codes
that could be used on a police radio. He also threw in a few very
helpful names and contact numbers that we could use when dealing with
police in general.
The next talk was an exercise in incident
reporting. This introduced me to Pierre, the TTP translator who
explained how the reporting system should work.
After being
given some more training booklets, it was time for the "awards"
ceremony and some general mingling. I managed to talk with a few senior
officers who seemed genuinely friendly, grateful and good natured. I
also spoke with a long serving English volunteer who explained how I
could receive further training and move "up the ladder" (yes, the
volunteers also have a ranking system) starting with the Lions Club
convention in Bangkok next month.
So after a few snapshots, receipt of my uniform and a few goodbyes, it was over.
 The "awards" ceremony
The
training was interesting. I got to meet some new people from around the
world and make some friends in the Thai police. I do feel ready to
start, but that is more down to my chance encounter with the long
serving Englishman than any of the training I received.
But that
seems to be Thailand through and through. There is far more focus on
friendliness and "welcomes " than there is on actual skills training. That
might suffice in most professions, but when you doing a job such as
police support, you would want something a bit more efficient.
It
also worried me that there was literally zero physical based training
in the entire seminar. Other than a few questions on the application
form about health, physical details and martial arts training, there
was no defence involved at all.
However, it was clear that all
applicants were carefully screened for their own backgrounds and
paperwork. This was applied to everybody which I thought was good,
though it was clear the Burmese contingent were being given the closest
attention.
Still, I learned something, met some new people, made
some friends and in time I will be able to do a lot to help visitors to
Thailand. It was time well spent.
|