My Boys
I can identify with PJ in a sense that I LOVE hanging out with the guys. My dude friends are a hoot to be around, and so far they seem to be happy to have me tagging along.
Over here, I can call up my husband's friends and we could all go for a beer somewhere with or without the hubby. I am completely at ease with my male colleagues. In many occasions, it was them and me left standing at happy hour.
I left Thailand when I was 15 and up to that point, I haven't had much contact with the boys other than my older brothers and cousins, thanks to all-girl school and home tutoring. I met almost nobody outside of my little circle back then.
The sight of boys made me self conscious. It was like: Oh my god! I have to behave myself. What would they think of me? Would they tell all their friends, hey there goes the ugly OakMonster?
It came down to this. Being in Bangkok feels like a fish bowl. I just don't know who knows who and who sees what. Everyone seems to know your every move. Everyone seems to know EVERYONE else.
One wrong move and your reputation is gone, and that was what imprinted in my head my entire young life. Being away in the U.S. changed that.
My first year in the U.S. co-ed school was an eye opening experience. It seeped in slowly that I was free to be myself out here in the Wild West. And that alone took care of my insecurity as a female and as a human being.
I was shy around guys still, didn't know what to do with them. But then drama class and my involvement with theater started to open me up, and the following year, I wasn't afraid of the guys any more. As a matter of fact, I learned to be friends with them. College propelled that comfort level and the next thing I knew, I was hanging out with the boys and totally enjoying their company and they mine.
I am just happy that I have all these men in my life. Not that I don't love my girl friends. But sometimes, it is just a lot less complicated pounding some brews with the boys than sipping wine with the ladies. It's just is!
I did miss that comraderie when I visit Thailand recently. I have two older brothers. I am closer to the younger one. And yet, when I asked him to take me out drinking one night, or heck, just take me to his bunch of friends, he didn't comply. As a matter of fact, he has never complied to that request. Ever. I think in his head, it's still a Boys Only Club and little sister doesn't belong there.
Or maybe it's still a cultural thing. I don't know.
All I know is it gets mighty lonely in Bangkok with no Guinness or a bunch of dudes to banter with.
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