Today I am a tearful kid

I hardly cry, because I have been told that crying is useless since I was young. However, I cried this afternoon while I was doing jogging.

I got a call from my sister while I was in the stadium. She told me that our beloved grandma is unconscious now, and maybe it is time for her, a 99 years old woman, to find her real inner peace. Suddenly, I stopped and felt that a teardrop ran down my cheek. Something are missing in my life….Once again, another teardrop rolled down…I stood behind a big tree and became a tearful kid…

My grandma is a kind, gentle, thrifty and industrious woman. She lives a busy and simple life, without any complaints. She likes to be busy from morning till night. Her face is wrinkled, but she looks as cheerful and happy as ever. She dislikes arguing with others, but she cannot bear any injustice. No one will take my grandma as a weak person. She is modesty and full of sympathy, but she is far from weak. My grandma might seem fragile physically, yet behind her soft face is a strong will of her own.

My grandma has 5 children and 8 grandchildren. She likes to see everyone around her. Like my grandfather, she likes to see high achievement and performance, so she is used to keep every child’s academic record. She will give a red flag to the child who performs best, and give a white flag to the child who performs worst. Everyone in my family always keeps going on and on, because no one wants white flag.

Two of my brothers and I are her favorite grandchildren. As a child who experienced a Silence Period, she had been worry about me for many years. She showed her great love and patience for me. For us, the most enjoyable moment was when I cut toenails for her. I would prepare warm water for her feet. I washed and did massage for her toenail, and then carefully, softly and silently to cut toenails one by one. She smiled, gazed at me, and waited. Normally I would say something at that time because that was the most relaxing and peaceful moment for me. Little by little, she would know how my life was going on……cutting her toenails was my job until I stayed outside the hometown. Whenever there was a school break, she would be very happy and hasty to see my return. She wanted to know my study and my life; for me, the first thing I would do after returning was to visit her, to sit with her. 

Here, I also would like to share one story with you about my beloved grandma: when she entered the age of 90, she still refused to have a housemaid; however, after she became 93, she told us once that she had a housemaid. Everyone was very happy with it, but soon after we were shocked, because her housemaid was 78 year old. They argue very often like children….that is my grandma…

While I am writing this, my tears keep rolling down. According my plan, I want to show her my certification with honor when her age reaches 100 years old. She likes to see my success. However, I don’t know whether I have chance to do that or not…..

I don't want to do anything except crying