Marriages of convenience? And Thai girls dumping their farang husbands.

I was interested to read the article on the Nation Web-site today about the increasing number of Northern Eastern Thai women seeking divorces from their farang husbands.

Firstly, of course, I should express regret at the death of so many relationships.  And secondly, before I begin, I should state my belief that true love between people of different races, religions and cultures is eminently possible.  If it is based on true love and common understanding and hopes.

There are several farang bloggers on this site with Thai wives and girlfriends, myself included, who are happy with their lots in life. 

But in general terms the nature of internet marriages or marriages brought about by introductions probably differs substantially from the ways in which my or Early's or RednWhite's or Ian's relationships came about.   For I feel that many of these marriages are indeed marriages of convenience. 

The farang man is likely in many cases to be a lot older, maybe retired, possibly married and divorced already or widowed.  They might be lonely and wanting someone to take care of them at home and also, likely, in the bedroom as well.  Log into www.northeasternbrides.com (not sure if this website exists or not) and suddenly a whole world of exotically pretty, young(er) charming and available Thai girls opens up.  No need nor time for the man to make a special effort to woo the girl.  No need to dress up in their best 1970's blazers and quoff up their comb-over hair cuts to make themselves look decent for a night out at the Dog and Duck in Halifax with Vera or some such like sextagenarian potential rest of  life partner.  Nok, or Oi or Pum look way more attractive and even, attainable.  Arriving in Thailand and in the humble surroundings of Roi Et or Khon Kaen to meet their potential belle bride and her family, they may feel like born again kings with their modest pensions and savings accounts and paid for two up two downs in Great Yarmouth or Morecombe.  They may find some comfort and convenience and beauty returning to them in the twilight of their lives.

And for the Thai girls they may see a man who appears kind and gentle and who may also pave their way towards a financially more comfortable lifestyle free from the stress of making do on a meagre rural pay packet, either abroad or indeed in their home villages.  Jaidee Bill or Douglas may bring some security to their modest lives.

So the separate needs of farang man and Thai  women come together in the interests of mutual convenience.  And I certainly think that there may be bonds of happiness, affection and companionship between the couples concerned at the time that they meet.   But is there really love?  Love in a situation where neither person really understands much about the other, about their respective national and personal history and culture?  Where often they can barely communicate and share the joys of mutual interests and personal jokes and nick-names?  Where their ages and hopes and expectations from life must be so different?  Where, in the case of many of the farang men, their relationship may not fully be understood by friends or family?  And where many Thai girls may find that their lifestyle in another country isn't nearly so comfortable, glamorous or happy as they might first have thought?

Perhaps they witness the first flush of loving feelings in the exitement of meeting and the process of establishing themselves together in a new and positive relationship.  But I really wonder whether, after that first rush of enthusiasm, these couples come up against the cold reality of their inate difference and their basic inability to do more than be together in a situation of mutual misunderstanding.

For me, being able to speak Thai and having a beautiful girlfriend who is fluent in English, and with many things in common and shared dreams for our future, I still find it hard at times to understand and bridge certain cultural and behavioural differences that are different from my own experience.  Although I believe these differences can be overcome and I could not imagine loving another person this much. 

But how hard then must it be for the farang men and Thai women who come together in these marriages of convenience?  The latest divorce statistics from Khon Kaen suggest that it is in reality very hard. 

Thailand is developing at a steady rate and I do agree with the Nation article that the demographic of Thai women is becoming more affluent, relatively speaking, and will continue to do so.  And so the phenomenon of internet marriages of convenience and Swiss villages will likely fade over time.  But across the medium term at least, the Judge in Khon Kaen is likely to see many more divorce petitions from Thai women seeking to be free from their farang husbands. 

What is your opinion on this subject?