29 September 2007

Has anyone seen the movie ‘The Notebook’?  If not then I would suggest that you do.  To me it defines the meaning of true love.

I was reminded of this movie today when talking to my friends. Somehow, I recalled the day 2 years ago when I met the 89 year old Englishman, Bill, at the Commonwealth War Cemetery in the centre of Kanchanaburi.

Bill had been an RAF Regiment Sergeant stationed in Persia during the Second World War and his brother Victor, an Anti-Tank Gunner with the Royal Artillery, had sadly perished during the infamous Thai/Burma "death" railway construction, while a prisoner of the Japanese.

I chatted with Bill for ages, happy to listen to stories of his experiences during the war.  And then conversation turned to his personal life.  Bill told me that he still took care of his wife who had suffered from Alzheimer’s disease for 8 years.  Bill was a tall and spritely man, still strong despite his advancing years. And he preferred to give his wife all of his tender care rather than putting her in an old people’s home.

Bill seemed truly happy with his lot in life.  He told me that he had been married for over 60 years and that he loved his wife every bit as much as the day that they were married.  Bill sweetly commented that his wife still had nice hair and a good figure despite her age and illness, a comment which I found deeply touching. I wish dearly that I could have seen their wedding photograph.  

You know, Bill’s wife could probably no longer recognize him and recall his name nor remember the times they has spent together raising their family.  And yet I could picture Bill looking at her face as he tended to her, feeling such deep love for her.  She was the most beautiful presence in his life and the reason for his waking up every day to take care of her and to give her comfort. 

Love is not necessarily found in the fancy dinners or the memorable holidays. Passion is a powerful yet transitory feeling.  True love is surely in the happiness and joy from being with the one person in this short life who gives one's life meaning.   

I wish that when the fateful day arrives, Bill and his wife could end their lives in each other's arms and travel to heaven or the afterlife together hand in hand and happy.

Rent or buy the movie ‘The Notebook’ if you like my blog.  And I extend to all of you the wish that you find that special person who can make your life complete, just as Bill did.  Lucky man.

Postscript - 17 May 2008

I had a chance to visit Kanchanaburi again last week with my mum and dad during a family holiday to Thailand.  My father always likes to visit Kanchanaburi and look around the well kept museum next to the main Commonwealth War Cemetery, to remember his uncle who had worked on the Thai Burma railway during the Second World War.  I remembered Bill, how he had visited Thailand to attend his brother Victor's grave and how I had promised that I would also pay my respects to Victor the next time I had chance to travel to Kanchanaburi.  Today, I finally had that chance to visit the grave of Gunner Victor Datlen who died 65 years ago in Thailand, and to lay flowers on his grave, in remembrance of him.  Never to forget.