dryshrimpthink

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Friday , July 3 , 2009

Story in the train

Posted by dryshrimp , Reader : 643 , 20:47:11

When 3 men and a lady are traveling together for business, the proportion may not sound right at first. Not only that woman is minority, but also two sides of them only know one another on work basis. Myself as one of the team whose firm objective not to return home empty handed, it was not an easy task. We had a mission to fulfill. The economic situation looked so discouraging. The Boss never smiled. The labour force and their family were in total fear of future unemployment. During the trip, we spent some time in the car driven by another man, the liaison-officer, and sometime in the train, from place to place. It was like a break. While I kept silent, the men talked about their life, their schooling in the temples, or their monk hood, the study in Italy, their farming life in the field, almost anything. Some I enjoyed listening. Other I found too male-chauvinistic. And egocentric. We had been together for the business mission for a week until I met Yabua. The men stayed separate at the hotel and I stayed at her house. I then had my space with woman, enjoyed and followed her stories with amazement. Some time, I walked with her son down the hill to the nice and quiet town to join the group, I felt I enjoyed the company of this young, lovely and cool man more than my group. And Yabua was such a good host and friend, talkative by nature and serious some time, also kind to my 3 men unconditionally. And they were so impressed with her hospitality on the way back from Germany to Holland for the urgent meeting I decided to do overnight. We took the intercity express straight from Frankfurt to Amsterdam. After the mission, we boarded the train straight to Hamburg. And started sharing stories again. Now about being true Thai, and Thai-Chinese. Why Chinese prefer a son than a daughter? And then I heard one of the 3 men story of his mother and grand mother from Shantou. Titi was born in Bangkok. His mother was born in China very far but close to Shantou. I guessed she was from Taechew district like our chinese ancestors in general. The family was very poor. When his mother was born, her parents were so upset. They did not want a girl. But her grand mother asked to keep her instead of terminating her . Until she was 5 years old. The parents finally made a decision to get rid of her. But how? So her father said, " I will go to Shantou and take you with me." The girl very naive, was so delighted. At that time, her grandfather already risked his destiny taking boat to Siam. And Shantou was the port for the poor chinese to board the boat to the coast of Siam for their brighter future.. The next morning Titi's mother went along with her father to Shantou. Then the father left her at a shop and said, "Wait for me here. I have someone to meet and as soon as I finish, I will take you home." Obviously to us, her father never came back. Imagine the girl at 5 years old being left alone in the shop, waiting, crying, and starving.., the owners of the shop questioned her until they knew the address, so that night Titi's mother stayed at the shop and by the next day, the owner begged some friends to bring her home. It took 3 full days for her to reach home! (She must have been very clever to tell the kind people the way home, don't you think?) The parents were shocked.. The grandmother stopped crying seeing her girl back. At that time she realized that this awful thing would never happen to her grand child again. Women born with high sense of survival must take risk. There was nothing to lose. So the grandmother packed all her things and left for good carrying her girl to Shantou and hoping for a better opportunity in Siam. The grand father who lived in Petchburi had established well with his business and already found a new Thai wife. Titi's grandmother suffered a lot just like the TV channel 7 melodrama. They didn't live happily ever after. The assets, cash and jewelry of the self made man were kept in the cabinet and would be unlocked to his wives and children only during chinese festival. Titi's grand mother had never touched any of them because she was modest and proud. One day, she found a relative in Bangkok who learnt the struggle, she was offered to stay with him in Bangkok and helped managing a shop. They decided to move away from that unending cheap envy and jealousy circle of husband and wives and children, and never wanted to hear from the grand father again. We heard this story in the train. Some of us mentioned " Letters from Thailand" novel written by Botan. We were left to believe that in some part of China, at present, there is still a gender preference which leads to cruelty in killing babies. ...... This is Titi and his secret admirer from Italy, photo taken by me in Brussels.

When 3 men and a lady are traveling together for business, the proportion may not sound right at first. Not only that woman is minority, but also two sides of them only know one another on work basis.

Myself as one of the team whose firm objective not to return home empty handed, it was not an easy task. We had a mission to fulfill.

The economic situation looked so discouraging.

The Boss never smiled.

The labour force and their family were in total fear of future unemployment.

During the trip, we spent some time in the car driven by another man, the liaison-officer, and sometime in the train, from place to place. It was like a break. While I kept silent, the men talked about their life, their schooling in the temples, or their monk hood, the study in Italy, their farming life in the field, almost anything.

Some I enjoyed listening. Other I found too male-chauvinistic.

And egocentric.

We had been together for the business mission for a week until I met Yabua. The men stayed separate at the hotel and I stayed at her house.

I then had my space with woman, enjoyed and followed her stories with amazement.

Some time, I walked with her son down the hill to the nice and quiet town to join the group, I felt I enjoyed the company of this young, lovely and cool man more than my group.

And Yabua was such a good host and friend, talkative by nature and serious some time, also kind to my 3 men unconditionally.

And they were so impressed with her hospitality on the way back from Germany to Holland for the urgent meeting I decided to do overnight.

We took the intercity express straight from Frankfurt to Amsterdam. After the mission, we boarded the train straight to Hamburg.

And started sharing stories again.

Now about being true Thai, and Thai-Chinese. Why Chinese prefer a son than a daughter?

And then I heard one of the 3 men story of his mother and grand mother from Shantou.

Titi was born in Bangkok. His mother was born in China very far but close to Shantou. I guessed she was from Taechew district like our chinese ancestors in general.

The family was very poor. When his mother was born, her parents were so upset. They did not want a girl. But her grand mother asked to keep her instead of terminating her .

Until she was 5 years old. The parents finally made a decision to get rid of her. But how?

So her father said,

" I will go to Shantou and take you with me."

The girl very naive, was so delighted.

At that time, her grandfather already risked his destiny taking boat to Siam. And Shantou was the port for the poor chinese to board the boat to the coast of Siam for their brighter future..

The next morning Titi's mother went along with her father to Shantou.

Then the father left her at a shop and said,

"Wait for me here. I have someone to meet and as soon as I finish, I will take you home."

Obviously to us, her father never came back.

Imagine the girl at 5 years old being left alone in the shop, waiting, crying, and starving.., the owners of the shop questioned her until they knew the address, so that night Titi's mother stayed at the shop and by the next day, the owner begged some friends to bring her home.

It took 3 full days for her to reach home!

(She must have been very clever to tell the kind people the way home, don't you think?)

The parents were shocked.. The grandmother stopped crying seeing her girl back. At that time she realized that this awful thing would never happen to her grand child again.

Women born with high sense of survival must take risk.

There was nothing to lose.

So the grandmother packed all her things and left for good carrying her girl to Shantou and hoping for a better opportunity in Siam.

The grand father who lived in Petchburi had established well with his business and already found a new Thai wife.

Titi's grandmother suffered a lot just like the TV channel 7 melodrama. They didn't live happily ever after.

The assets, cash and jewelry of the self made man were kept in the cabinet and would be unlocked to his wives and children only during chinese festival.

Titi's grand mother had never touched any of them because she was modest and proud.

One day, she found a relative in Bangkok who learnt the struggle, she was offered to stay with him in Bangkok and helped managing a shop.

They decided to move away from that unending cheap envy and jealousy circle of husband and wives and children, and never wanted to hear from the grand father again.

We heard this story in the train. Some of us mentioned " Letters from Thailand" novel written by Botan.

We were left to believe that in some part of China, at present, there is still a gender preference which leads to cruelty in killing babies.

......

This is Titi and his secret admirer from Italy, photo taken by me in Brussels.

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comment 16
dryshrimp date : 08/07/2009 time : 09.01
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/dryshrimp

Haha..
3 of our team +1 liaison officer who showed us around.

comment 15
noonin date : 07/07/2009 time : 12.54
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/noonin

Out of interest, there is a photo of four men, not three men and a woman.
Who are they?

comment 14
dryshrimp date : 07/07/2009 time : 03.35
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/dryshrimp

Hi - Khun Netnapit,
Yabua had to wait at FF's airport because the flight from Amsterdam to FF was cancelled. We boarded the next flight ..I sent email but she left for me already!
So we both were so tired..

comment 13
netnapit date : 07/07/2009 time : 00.20
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/netnapit

Thanks for sharing the story, Khun DS. It's also a heartwarming story to hear that Khun Yabua and you got to know each other personally during your trip.

comment 12
dryshrimp date : 05/07/2009 time : 10.55
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/dryshrimp

Pan, the story like this should be told to your daughter or kept records. I'm afraid in the future, we will all forget our roots.

comment 11
dryshrimp date : 05/07/2009 time : 10.54
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/dryshrimp

Thanks, Yabua for sharing...
Living in Germany may be heaven for them. To other parents, the separation from the child, Nor Neu Cheur Khai, is more heartbreaking.

comment 10
panalwayscute date : 04/07/2009 time : 19.38
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/panalwayscute

DS-My mom's mother, grandmother escaped from China during the WW2 to Malaysia. She used to tell me stories of Chinese families, actually "throwing" new born babies once they know it's a girl.

What a nightmare it is!

comment 9
yabua date : 04/07/2009 time : 17.36
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/yabua

OK, DS, it´s my turn...
When I first moved to Germany in 1990, I got to know a Chinese academic couple from the main land China. The husband is a computer expert and the wife is a medical doctor for Chinese medicine.
They got scholarship to do reserches sponsored by German govornment. At that time China was still closed. Chinese government kept their 5 years old son in China to guarantee that they would go back after the 2 years contract with Germany.
When I got to know them, the boy had been 15 years old.
They exchanged their son with their ambition. They tried to renew the contract with Germany again and again. I don´t know when they saw the boy again. Probably when they didn´t know each other anymore.
It´s not that bad like the story of Titi´s mother but I stillpissed off this kind of parents. It ´s such a great fortune to able to have a child. They are heartless. I wonder what kind of person the boy became.

comment 8
dryshrimp date : 04/07/2009 time : 13.36
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/dryshrimp

Yabua, I finished Titi's story. Now yours...

comment 7
happyjack date : 04/07/2009 time : 08.58

Ambition is personall,after giving youre Child a good start,its no longer your job.Oh Dear, most of my friends here are German,they dont speak well of the Turks.In fact they get more grumpy than me.!.

comment 6
yabua date : 04/07/2009 time : 02.30
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/yabua

I really like to hear more about Titi´s Mom because I also have a story of a Chinese boy. You will know that the parents´social class and education sometimes didn´t help at all even when the child is a boy. Ambition can be fatal.

HJ, in many aspects, this country, in the name of Thailand, is still respectable. Often it just depends on the stand point, interest, mentality and the culture of the person who critizises her.

comment 5
yabua date : 04/07/2009 time : 00.37
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/yabua

P Dryshrimp, Write more, please. Quick..quick!

comment 4
happyjack date : 03/07/2009 time : 23.55

Has anyone else noticed,like Changing a Boats Name,bad luck befalls it.Siam was allways regarded with respect.

comment 3
dryshrimp date : 03/07/2009 time : 22.17
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/dryshrimp

GG:
They were not that kind.
ICE,
No more hardship. And also rich in education.

comment 2
iceberg date : 03/07/2009 time : 21.37
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/ranchhand

Dryshrimp, last year, while visiting Surathani I met a very bright and beautiful Chinese lady only 23 years old from that same province. She is in Thailand on a 1 year contract to teach chinese language in government funded HS.

Surprisingly, she talked with me in a perfect American accent English.

Anyway, she said if she has a choice, she would like to stay and live in Thailand.

Ofcourse, when hearing that, all the land sharks at the table smiled with happiness.

No more hardship as it was in the old day.

comment 1
GGrass date : 03/07/2009 time : 21.20
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/GGrass

At first I thought the parents were cruel, but then I thought about it again, and now I think their parents were ..... na song sarn....

It must've been tough sending their daughter away...

But they must've thought their daughter had no futer in their village, so they decided to try her luck at the new land, Siam.

They must've cried a river...

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