Bet ween the Frames

All about real film criticism
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Friday , August 14 , 2009

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra: Nothing but Uninvolving Action Excursion

Posted by betweentheframes , Reader : 4135 , 02:32:35

Essentially, the G.I. Joe franchise is all about the crazy action figures and over-the-top gadgets. Staples that define G.I. Joe besides the overarching narrative, are super powered suits, beam-like rifles/cannons, cars with missiles, underwater vehicles, jet packs, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, etc. This trashy flick is slick but delivers nothing but uninvolving action excursion. Inspired by Hasbro's famous line of plastic action figures, G.I. Joe is an elite international military superforce that swoops down to save Duke (Channing Tatum), a regular military guy, just as he and his soldier buddy (Marlon Wayans) are about to lose some dangerous nanomite warheads to an attack force headed up by The Baroness (Sienna Miller) who turns out to be working for the team that officially turns into Cobra by the end. Their new team-mates include: team commander General Hawk (Dennis Quaid), intelligence expert Scarlett (Rachel Nichols), electronics whizz Breaker (Said Taghmaoui), weapons specialist Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) and masked, silent ninja warrior Snake Eyes (Ray Park). It’s a good thing that a weapons manufacturer (Christopher Eccleston) and his Cobra cronies have constructed an equally large and impractical base – this one below the polar ice cap. Supplying him with the necessary technology is a disfigured mad-scientist-type known as the Doctor (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Cobra invades the Joe base, the Joes respond in kind, and in the middle of all this is a whole lot of passing and interception of a weapons case carrying nanomite warheads. What pretty much all of this revival film completely misses is that the franchise actually has depth, and story, and characterization in their source material. It isn’t just about toys and blue lasers and explosions (though those are fun), but about Cobra Commander’s unending temper tantrums, the insane amounts of crazy vehicles the Joes have at their disposal, and the slew of terrific military-themed soldiers who bring their particular expertise to the battlefield. Dumbing them down to this level leaves you with a clear, distilled experience that has no body, no flavor, no aftertaste. Special effects here are expensive, while the lives of the extras, and the value of screenwriting are cheap. The plot itself is so preposterous there is never any clear sense in the action of where anything is in relation to anything else (What happened to the fourth warhead?). Those sonic guns could take down a helicopter and when the Joes are hit by it they, at most, get a scratch on their cheek. Where is the consistency? Director Stephen Sommers is preoccupied with providing incomprehensible wall-to-wall computer-generated special effects, and he orchestrates some misleading action sequences and the set pieces show you something you've already seen. Some of the special effects feel half done. Someone has a lazy man on their crew and I won’t say which effects team it is. The performances are unnoteworthy and there's an unbelievable sense of camaraderie between the characters. In particular, Tatum’s stiff and just mainly generic Duke is horrible. They also make the Baroness an actual Baroness with a doting husband and a narcissistic personality. Dennis Quaid is wasted in the role of their leader, General Hawk. It's appalling to realize Hollywood’s never ending attempt to refashion them into a lucrative revival for modern day audiences. Though it takes us back to our youth and gives us hope that this will be a worthy entry into something started long ago, it it almost never is. Michael Bay has absolutely ruined Transformers, bringing it to the lowest common denominator, and Summers uses the same excessive of everything to cover up for the inadequate story. Of course the film is far from perfect, but for a bad film, it’s actually watchable – and it has enough Joe qualities in it to keep the hardcore fans from rioting outright, while it teaches us new things about ice, such as the fact that it sinks if it’s big enough. About two-thirds of this film consists of action sequences, so if you just need to shut your brain off and watch characters shoot, kick, slice and explode their way to victory, then this is the fast food equivalent to satisfy your hunger. It’s not particularly memorable, clever or funny because it is trashy and ridiculous, and in the end it delivers a very small amount of fun.

Essentially, the G.I. Joe franchise is all about the crazy action figures and over-the-top gadgets. Staples that define G.I. Joe besides the overarching narrative, are super powered suits, beam-like rifles/cannons, cars with missiles, underwater vehicles, jet packs, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, etc. This trashy flick is slick but delivers nothing but uninvolving action excursion.

Inspired by Hasbro's famous line of plastic action figures, G.I. Joe is an elite international military superforce that swoops down to save Duke (Channing Tatum), a regular military guy, just as he and his soldier buddy (Marlon Wayans) are about to lose some dangerous nanomite warheads to an attack force headed up by The Baroness (Sienna Miller) who turns out to be working for the team that officially turns into Cobra by the end. Their new team-mates include: team commander General Hawk (Dennis Quaid), intelligence expert Scarlett (Rachel Nichols), electronics whizz Breaker (Said Taghmaoui), weapons specialist Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) and masked, silent ninja warrior Snake Eyes (Ray Park). It’s a good thing that a weapons manufacturer (Christopher Eccleston) and his Cobra cronies have constructed an equally large and impractical base – this one below the polar ice cap. Supplying him with the necessary technology is a disfigured mad-scientist-type known as the Doctor (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Cobra invades the Joe base, the Joes respond in kind, and in the middle of all this is a whole lot of passing and interception of a weapons case carrying nanomite warheads.

What pretty much all of this revival film completely misses is that the franchise actually has depth, and story, and characterization in their source material. It isn’t just about toys and blue lasers and explosions (though those are fun), but about Cobra Commander’s unending temper tantrums, the insane amounts of crazy vehicles the Joes have at their disposal, and the slew of terrific military-themed soldiers who bring their particular expertise to the battlefield. Dumbing them down to this level leaves you with a clear, distilled experience that has no body, no flavor, no aftertaste.

Special effects here are expensive, while the lives of the extras, and the value of screenwriting are cheap. The plot itself is so preposterous there is never any clear sense in the action of where anything is in relation to anything else (What happened to the fourth warhead?). Those sonic guns could take down a helicopter and when the Joes are hit by it they, at most, get a scratch on their cheek. Where is the consistency?

Director Stephen Sommers is preoccupied with providing incomprehensible wall-to-wall computer-generated special effects, and he orchestrates some misleading action sequences and the set pieces show you something you've already seen. Some of the special effects feel half done. Someone has a lazy man on their crew and I won’t say which effects team it is.

The performances are unnoteworthy and there's an unbelievable sense of camaraderie between the characters. In particular, Tatum’s stiff and just mainly generic Duke is horrible. They also make the Baroness an actual Baroness with a doting husband and a narcissistic personality. Dennis Quaid is wasted in the role of their leader, General Hawk.

It's appalling to realize Hollywood’s never ending attempt to refashion them into a lucrative revival for modern day audiences. Though it takes us back to our youth and gives us hope that this will be a worthy entry into something started long ago, it it almost never is. Michael Bay has absolutely ruined Transformers, bringing it to the lowest common denominator, and Summers uses the same excessive of everything to cover up for the inadequate story.

Of course the film is far from perfect, but for a bad film, it’s actually watchable – and it has enough Joe qualities in it to keep the hardcore fans from rioting outright, while it teaches us new things about ice, such as the fact that it sinks if it’s big enough. About two-thirds of this film consists of action sequences, so if you just need to shut your brain off and watch characters shoot, kick, slice and explode their way to victory, then this is the fast food equivalent to satisfy your hunger. It’s not particularly memorable, clever or funny because it is trashy and ridiculous, and in the end it delivers a very small amount of fun.

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comment 1
dryshrimp date : 14/08/2009 time : 20.28
http://blog.nationmultimedia.com/dryshrimp

Such a bad film of the year. Same feeling I had to Transformer.

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